Not talking
by BigMachoCinephile
Summary: When Sharon wakes up in her hospital bed she is scared. Scared because of her health but also because Andy is angry. At her.


Sharon tried to move her head but her entire hurt too much. She heard something bip next to her. She opened her eyes slowly and noticed that it was dark outside. Someone was talking to her but the sound was muffled in her ears.

"Mom."

She turned her head to the sound and could make out the silhouette of Rusty. She felt something in her hand and squeezed it.

"Mom." Rusty tried again. Sharon tried to hummed but something was on her mouth. She raised her hand and tried to move the oxygen mask but Rusty made sure the thing stayed in place.

"Mom. Can you hear me?"

Sharon nodded, more aware of her surroundings. "Don't try to move yet. There are a lot of machines around you."

"What happened?" Sharon whispered.

Rusty sat down in the chair beside her bed and squeezed her hand again. "Your heart stopped. You were interviewing a suspect in your office and your heart just stopped. Julio performed CPR on you and managed to resuscitate you. But you had another heart attack in the ambulance. Your doctor managed to made your heart beat again. So now you have a pacemaker and you're number one in the transplant list of the hospital."

Sharon could feel tears running down her face and a painful ball in her stomach that had nothing to do with her surgery. She was angry with herself and of what she had done... Because she knew what she had done, she had calculated everything...

"You're okay?" Sharon murmured to her son.

Rusty let out a dry laugh. "Of course I'm okay. I'm just worried about you."

"Andy?"

Rusty dropped his eyes to the bed, not wanting to look into her eyes. "He is waiting outside. He was talking to your doctor."

"Call him." Sharon said. Rusty nodded his head no. "No, mom. You need to rest. Andy will be with you later. When you're in a better shape."

"No. No. Now." Sharon was starting to fuss and tried to sit down. Rusty panicked that she would hurt herself so he pushed the button to call the nurses. A doctor came a minute later.

"Mrs. Flynn you need to lay back down." He said and put the oxygen mask back down on her mouth.

"Andy. Andy."

"Mrs. Flynn, please. You need to take it easy. I'm serious. Please."

"No. No. No" Sharon wouldn't stop so the doctor prepared a dose of sleeping pill in a needle but Sharon was turning so much in bed that it was impossible for him to give her the dose without hurting her.

"Sharon, please. Let them do their job." Andy was standing near the door, still, his eyes red and puffy.

"Andy." Sharon sobbed and tried to reach for him. Andy walked closer to her and took her hand. Sharon wanted to buried herself against his body and never move.

"Please. Rest Sharon. You need to rest. We all need to rest. Think of the others too, just once today." She had calmed enough for the doctor to give her the dose. Between Andy's cruel but true words and pills she felt sick. She closed her eyes slowly but tried to stay awake. She fought it but after a few second she closed her eyes for good, Andy's face the last thing she saw.

Rusty has stayed in the room with Andy while Sharon was asleep, each sitting in a chair on a side of her bed.

"Andy?"

"Yeah kid?" He turned his gaze from the window to look at Rusty.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure." Andy answered quickly looking everywhere but at Sharon.

"Are you and mom gonna be okay?"

"Of course. Don't worry about that. Could you keep an eye on your mom for me? Provenza send me a text saying that he should be there soon. I will meet him and Patrice and walked them up."

Andy was already out before Rusty could say something. He had been terrified about Sharon when she had collapsed in her office but right now he was scared about Andy's reaction. He had seen him cried earlier but it wasn't the good kind of tears. He was sitting on her chair just outside Sharon's room, his hands in tight fists by his side with big tears rolling down his red cheeks.

Patrice walked in the room a few minutes later and Rusty stood up to give her a hug. "Where are Andy and the Lieutenant?"

"Outside talking." Patrice answered and took the chair Andy had let free. She also avoided looking into Rusty's eyes and the young man really had a bad feeling.

...

Sharon was release from the hospital a few days later. Rusty was the one bringing her home, Sharon had seen Andy only for a minutes per days and she could feel how tense he was, avoiding her.

"Mom. Do you need help to get into bed?" Rusty asked when he had put Sharon's bag next to the couch and locked the door behind them.

"I think I do."

"Okay. Let's go, the doctor said you needed to get into bed as soon as we got home."

Rusty took Sharon's arm and guided her to her bedroom. She sat up slowly and Rusty bend down to help her put her legs in bed. She put the covers around her, feeling tired already.

"I put your phone just there in case you need me. Don't try to get up on your own and don't shout."

"Thanks honey. I love you." Sharon said, closing her eyes.

"Love you too, Mom." Rusty went back to the living room but let the bedroom door half open.

When Sharon woke up a while later she could feel eyes on her. Andy was sitting in the chair beside their bed, looking at her.

"Hi." Sharon said. Wanting to talk to him but still having a bad feeling.

Andy tried a smile. Sharon could feel tears in her eyes so she turned her head in her pillow. "Andy... I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry. Don't you dare say you are sorry Sharon." She had not hear that kind of voice from Andy since a long time. Not since she was working in IA. His voice was hard, his gaze was angry. The loving she was used to see in his eyes was just not there anymore. She didn't recognize her husband. And all of that was her fault.

She muffled a sob and sat with her back against wall. "Andy. I don't know what to say." She watched her hands on her lap.

"There is nothing to say, Sharon." She could hear in his voice that he was trying to contain his tears.

"I never meant... I love you and I-"

Andy couldn't take it anymore and raised, quickly moving to hover her. "You love me? You. Love. Me. Really? Do you realize what you've done to me Sharon? I found your envelope on Buzz's desk. You prepared it Sharon! For fuck's sake! Do you realize that I had to watch you collapsed in that damn room! You knew we were watching. You knew I would be there. You knew Rusty would be there! You did it on purpose! You wanted to kill yourself and you made us watch it! I had two fingers on your throat, trying to find an heartbeat and nothing! Nothing Sharon! Do you realize that Julio had to lift your lifeless body into his arms and had to perform CPR on you! You did that to me Sharon! We've been married only for a few weeks and I basically watched you die! So please, don't you dare say that you're sorry and that you love me!" Andy turned around quickly and made a picture fall to the floor. Glass shattering everywhere on the floor.

Sharon was crying silently and jumped when the glass hit the floor. Andy cursed loudly again and went to the bathroom, shutting the door so loudly behind him that Sharon thought it would also broke. She heard another loud noise immediately followed by a muffled groan. If she had to guess, she would say that Andy had hit the wall with his fist.

The pain she felt right now was more unbearable that any heart attack. She had hurt the man she loved the most. Every single words that Andy had said were true and that hurt even more.

She heard something hit the door lightly and she was afraid that Andy had fainted but then she heard Andy's muffled sobs behind the door. Her own tears would not stop running on her face. She very carefully stood up from the bed and sat back down on the floor in front of the door, her back against it. She was sure that her position mimicked Andy's on the other side of the door.

"Please Andy. Don't leave me. I love you with all my heart. I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me. When you had your heart attack I was terrified. Sometimes, I would wake up at night and make sure you were still breathing. It was awful the first month after, I was so scared you were going to die. When I had the diagnostic about my heart I knew that a heart attack was more than possible and I didn't want you to live the same thing as me. I admit I wanted to die, but I never wanted to do it in front of you. I'm sorry Andy."

There was a long silence on the other side of the door and Sharon was not sure that Andy was still there.

"You can't do that to me Sharon. You have no right to die before me, I'm serious. I'm so angry at you right now. I never thought I could be as angry as that against you. When your doctor told me that you were alive I want to go into that room and shook you. I-" Sharon heard him strangled sobs.

"Can you open the door honey? I can't reach the doorknob."

Andy moved and opened the door carefully in case Sharon was still leaning against it. He saw her sitting down on the floor of their bedroom, her eyes probably in the same state as him. He sat down beside her and Sharon put her head on his shoulder.

"I love you." Andy said against her hair. "Come here." Andy grabbed Sharon and gently lifted her so she sitting on his lap. They wrapped their arms around one another. Andy put his fingers on his chin to turn her face to make her look at him.

"Promise me you will never do that again."

"I promise." Sharon answered. "I don't want to leave you ever again."

"That's what I want to hear. Now that we're married and old and sick and heartbroken I want us to make a lot of memories."

"I want that to." Sharon smiled to her tears.

"Good. Now let's get you back in bed. Your cute doctor will be pissed off if he finds out I made you sat on the floor."

"You join me?" Andy smiled and helped her get back in bed. He laid down beside her and took her in his arms when he was sure he wouldn't hurt her.

"I know you're still mad at me. Will you forgive me?"

"I will. I just need time. I love you so much, I just need to feel you alive around me for a few days and we will be fine."

"We will be fine." Sharon repeated and kissed Andy on the lips.

THE END


End file.
